Flirting Throughout History

For as long as love and affection have existed between humans, so has flirting. One of the earliest guides to advise people on the art of wooing the object of their affections stems from Ancient Rome. In the year 2 AD, the famed poet Ovid wrote the first of his three books titled Ars amatoria, “The Art of Love”. His counsel ranges from looking presentable to not forgetting your loved one’s birthday – classic advice that still holds up today!
Throughout 19th century Europe, hand-held fans were more than just a practical tool for cooling off: they played a prominent part in the courtship between young couples. Women could flutter them near their bosom or face to draw attention to their best features, or deliberately drop their fan to invite a gentleman to demonstrate how much he cared about her by picking it up. Stories of a secret “fan language” of this era have circulated for many years, ranging from specific gestures like tapping the handle to one’s mouth as an invitation for a kiss, to fanning it at different speeds to indicate one’s marital status. While there’s little evidence to show this form of communication was commonly used in daily life, the idea of covert flirtation in an age of propriety remains popular throughout fiction.
The 21st century introduced us to a digital age of romance. Nowadays, something as simple as liking someone’s dating profile or commenting on their social media post can be an indicator of attraction and interest. But is technology helping or hindering us when it comes to flirting? On the one hand, we may feel more incentivized to make a move when all it takes is a swipe or double tap to show we care. Back-and-forth messaging brings the added benefit of getting to think about our reply before sending it, and communicating through a screen makes it easier to summon up the courage for a bold move. On the other hand, the intricacies of direct human interaction can easily get lost in the mix – we sacrifice the tension of fixed eye contact, the zing! of brushing against someone’s hand for the first time, the thrill of the world around us disappearing as we lose ourselves in the whirlwind of an intimate conversation. So the question stands: is digital romance getting in the way of flirting, or do we carry the potential for a new era of human connection in our hands?