“I barely sleep, and when I do, I wake up with the heartrate of someone being hunted for sport” is what I only half-jokingly told my doctor during the Spring of 2022, when I was at the end of my rope with my stress levels.

She nodded as if she’d heard all this before. “I’m writing you a sick note for two weeks,” she said. “But I don’t think it’s going to help. You have Burnout. Something in your environment needs to change drastically if you want to get better long-term.”

On my way home, I thought over what she’d told me. I knew what Burnout was, so I understood how seriously it affects every area of your life when you have it. Yet somehow, the diagnosis had snuck up on me, even when I knew she was right: something needed to change, and it had to be something big if I wanted to be healthy again.

My warning signs

My Burnout had been years in the making. After years of hustling to kick-start my writing career, I wasn’t about to squander my chance once it finally came.

In my first writing job, I worked overtime that wasn’t documented, and after my work was praised, I was asked to take on more responsibility. Soon, working during what was supposed to be my free time wasn’t something extra that I did, it was necessary to maintain my workload.

Doing this for 9 months paired with a loved one’s sudden diagnosis caused me to crash.

By the time I’d arrived home from the doctor, I’d pinpointed some of the red flags I’d overlooked professionally.

Of course I’d known I was stressed, but I hadn’t realized how deep the hole that I’d dug for myself really was. I found myself irritated easily, even by people I loved deeply. I didn’t have the drive or energy to do activities that I loved or to maintain relationships. Just as alarmingly, I had a physical pressure in my chest and couldn’t catch my breath during high-stress periods.

Finding my center again

Some things in my life I couldn’t change, but there were many that I could! My passion was for writing; that much was the same. Still, I sensed how the joy I found in it was beginning to sour. I was on the fast track not only to making myself physically ill, but also hating the activity I loved more than any other.

I had to return to my center, and I didn’t need my doctor to tell me twice.

I used those two weeks she’d given me to forget about my job as much as possible and to exclusively write what I loved, stories that I enjoyed. On top of that, I started a pattern of engaging in activities in my personal life that left me feeling restored afterwards. Finally, a game-changer for me: I made an effort to quiet the voice in my head telling me that even my rest needed to be productive.

Those two weeks didn’t solve all my problems, but they were enough to give me a glimpse of how my life could change for the better if I made space for myself to heal (which included leaving the job that was hurting me).

Never again

It’s not uncommon for Burnout to sneak up on you, and I don’t hold it against myself for needing my doctor to tell me that I’d reached the end of the line — even though I wish it’d never gotten that far. But I’ve vowed to myself that it’ll never happen again.

Everyone’s soul is different. Nurturing my passions and truly resting helped me return to myself and recover from Burnout, but there’s a million ways for you to come to the same conclusion. You don’t have to wait until you crash to remind yourself who you are and why you do what you do (and to visit your doctor if you’re feeling unwell!). Take time now to reflect on the aspects in your life that make you feel used up — and what brings you back to yourself again.